Images: Film Grab
Bo Burnham's first narrative feature film Eighth Grade (2018) is a favorite of mine from the 2010s. It's a hidden gem and, in my view, the best portrayal of early teens I've seen in any film. I've seen it several times over the years and a common denominator always catches my eye: the behavior of Mark, the dad character, played by Josh Hamilton.
I've never seen a parent like this in any film where it's a teenager coming of age. With every rewatch, Kayla's (Elsie Fisher) father is more of a help than an obstacle. The complete polar opposite of, say, Dawn Wiener's mother in Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995, dir. Todd Solondz). Hamilton portrayed a father who had many descriptions unlike most of the moms and dads of movies like this. We've seen them. The strict worrywarts who use authority and guilt trips to weave power over their children to foil their desires and obstruct their freedoms. No. Not the case here.
Mark is understanding of Kayla when she's closed off and anti-social towards him. Patient with some of her tantrums. Non-judgmental about what she wants to do or be. Not restrictive; there's a scene where he says "Good night, don't stay up too late". SHE DOES NOT HAVE A BEDTIME (For crying out loud, my parents made me have a bedtime until I freakin' graduated high school). He can be a little over-involved but is incredibly supportive. He knows when to back off and give Kayla her space. And even when Kayla wanted to burn something in their backyard, he did NOT hesitate to help her when she asked.
Usually, these films portray parents as some sort of foe to the wishes of the teenage leads. So much so, that their appearance in scenes can induce some "ugh" often from viewers. Not Josh Hamilton's character in Eighth Grade. To me, whenever he appeared on screen, it felt like he was a soothing presence that made every scene better. His kindness oozes off the screen. All is capped off with a heartfelt speech near the end to his daughter. She is his whole world.
The terrific film critic and colleague Robert Daniels says it well in this 2018 812 Film Reviews piece about non-toxic masculinity in this movie: "Kayla’s father is overly understanding to the point of madness and complete passivity. Half of Kayla’s outbursts could have easily brought another reaction. Eighth Grade isn’t just about what means to be a pre-teen. It’s what it means to be the parent of a pre-teen in the digital age. It demonstrates these parenting skills, much in the same fashion as the father-daughter relationship in Hearts Beat Loud. The kindness demonstrated, the understanding, and the willingness to allow for a pre-teen daughter to have a voice, to say that her voice means something more than the whinings of a child. That concept is a new-age belief. It’s also a powerful reinforcement, from a young age, that a girl’s voice does matter".
This is a credit to Bo Burnham's writing and directing, but most importantly, Hamilton's performance. He's a character actor with a long career in film and television, who's always had outstanding screen charisma. I recall, at the time, there were many calling for him to get some Best Supporting Actor love during awards season. And I agreed. He and Sam Elliott in A Star is Born were my favorite male supporting performances of 2018.
"Every parent I know wants to be a good parent and say things, trying to say the right things, but when you're with a kid every day, all day...you try to say the right thing and it comes out wrong, you're constantly kinda missing each other and the times you actually connect are few and far between. And so, one of the dangers without establishing that kind of dynamic, you might be like every scene is (monotone voice) 'I'm afraid this is an important parent-child scene and we're having an important talk now", said Hamilton in a 2018 interview with BUILD Series.
I certainly hope this character is a template for future parental figures. We've seen certain glimpses in shows and movies. We're trying to capture real stories with characters that represent real people. If you ask me, it's refreshing that more parents than ever are like Eighth Grade's Mark and would love to see more.
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